AFRO Commercial
by marmaroth
Summary: Have anime characters have suddenly appeared in your living room and you need to protect them from the rabid fangirls that are currently surrounding your house with pitchforks and torches? Welcome to AFRO, the Anti-Fangirl Revolutionary Order! Pen name formerly nagashinokuro


**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the anime characters that appear here...sigh...**

**Summary: What's that, you say? Anime characters have suddenly appeared in your living room and you need to protect them from the rabid fangirls that are currently surrounding your house with pitchforks and torches? Well, you've come to the right place! Welcome to the Anti-Fangirl Revolutionary Order...also known as AFRO!**

**This is a oneshot. It's been written solely for your amusement and for the plot bunny running around in my head. It's also a commercial. And before you call the number listed below, please remember that AFRO is not a real association and the number could lead to anyone, from a dental office to a CIA agent. Please review.**

**The author apologizes for the overuse of capital letters, but sometimes these things happen.**

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--Cheesy music comes on--

NARRATOR: Have supposedly-nonexistent anime characters suddenly appeared in your living room for no apparent reason?

RANDOM SELF-INSERT FANFICTION VICTIM 1: YES!! --tries to keep Naruto and Sasuke from killing each other--

NARRATOR: Do you need to protect them from the rabid fangirls that are currently surrounding your house with pitchforks and torches, demanding that you send out their subject of admiration?

RANDOM SELF-INSERT FANFICTION VICTIM 2: YES!! --peeks out of window and quickly takes cover as a pitchfork crashes through the glass, nearly hitting an angry Edward Elric--

EDWARD ELRIC: Hey, watch it!!

FANGIRLS: --to RSIFV2--GIVE US BACK OUR BISHIES, YOU WHORE!!

NARRATOR: Well, we've got the perfect solution!

RANDOM SELF-INSERT FANFICTION VICTIMS 1 & 2: Huh?! Really?!

NARRATOR: No joke!! It's called the Anti-Fangirl Revolutionary Order...also known as AFRO!!

RANDOM SELF-INSERT FANFICTION VICTIM 1: ...afro?

NARRATOR: --irritated-- No, AFRO!!

RANDOM SELF-INSERT FANFICTION VICTIM 2: What kinda name is afro?

NARRATOR: I SAID it's AFRO!! Oh, forget it! Anyways, the Anti-Fangirl Revolutionary Order, also known as AFRO (NOT afro), is composed of elite members especially trained to handle and deal with fangirls!

RANDOM AFRO MEMBER 1: --suddenly appears in front of RSIFV2's house and points in a random direction-- LOOK, IT'S ROY MUSTANG!!

FANGIRLS: --whirl around-- KYAAA, ROY-KUUUN!! --stampede away--

RANDOM PASSERBY: Huh? Who--GAAAAAAHHH!! --gets run over--

RANDOM SELF-INSERT FANFICTION VICTIM 2: --sighs with relief-- Oh, thank God, now we can get on with the story instead of staking out here!

NARRATOR: And as a side job, they're also trained to stop anime characters from killing each other!

RANDOM AFRO MEMBER 2: --suddenly appears in front of Naruto and Sasuke, then ties them up with rope and claps her hands-- There, problem solved!

RANDOM SELF-INSERT FANFICTION VICTIM 1: --slumps down on floor-- THERE IS A GOD!!

NARUTO: Hey, you can't tie us up like this!! We're ninja!!

RANDOM AFRO MEMBER 2: That's what you think!! --holds up rope-- This is special ninja-proof rope!! It's water proof, electricity proof, fire proof, and earth proof! It's also been coated with chakra!! You can't escape!!

SASUKE: Hn. --glares at RAM2--

NARRATOR: So call 1-800-AFRO-BIZ today for one of our elite members to assist you, free of charge!! Remember, that's 1-800-AFRO-BIZ!!

RANDOM SELF-INSERT FANFICTION VICTIMS 1 & 2: We're saved!!

NARRATOR: And we're also looking for new members!! So if you want to help out your fellow self-insert fanfiction victims, or learn to fend for yourself, call us and you'll be sent to the nearest AFRO Academy!!

RANDOM SELF-INSERT FANFICTION VICTIM 2: I'm totally going to go! Those fangirls won't stay away for long...

NARRATOR: Remember, that's 1-800-AFRO-BIZ!!

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**It was totally random...I thought of it while playing badminton (laughs) Once again, the number above is completely random and could lead to anywhere, so don't blame me if you're suddenly put under arrest for calling the CIA.**

**Review? (does puppy dog eyes)**


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